Zechariah Brewer might have a name that sounds all biblical and all, but the best part about him is that he reads my blog and comments a lot. that’s the real test for quality humanity, ya know. he blogs over here. have a look at that. enjoy the post.
Cold Shoulder Kryptonite
Way too late in my single life, I discovered the secret to disarming a manipulative woman. The sad thing was, I had seen it years before, but had no clue what was happening. Yeah, I’m observant alright.
My junior year of high school, we had two exchange students living with my folks and I: Junior, from Brazil, and Martin, from Germany. I went to a party at another exchange student’s house with these two, and had a good time. After all the friends I had made went home, I met the future prom date of Junior, by way of her being a complete jerk to me. I know, I know, there’s two sides to every story, but my first interaction with this girl was her coming in to tell me to lay off the piano with which I entertained myself.
A week or so later, she comes to our house on a Saturday to spend the day with Junior. Because of the way she had last treated me, determined not to speak to her the whole day — and by “not speak to her,” I mean, “straight up Amish shunning.” Several times throughout the day, she tried to initiate conversation with me, and I kept up the cold shoulder routine. I had broken her. It was like kryptonite. Her sister came over, who happened to be Martin’s future prom date, and I had a great conversation with her and everyone else but Cold Shoulderee.
What I did when I ignored Cold Shoulderee was shut down her favorite means of validation: getting attention from guys. Somehow, I made her go from overbearing and bossy to all but begging me to say a word to her. How did an average-looking guy who was fifth wheel in this situation manage to change her attitude in one day?
Well, for one, I didn’t want her talking to me. Seriously, it was nowhere in my thought process to stop Cold Shoulderee and say, “Why are you trying so hard? What do you really want out of me?” I really just wanted her to go somewhere else. So fellas, when you’ve got a woman who wants to manipulate you, the best thing you can do for yourself is to ignore her completely.
Now, someone will ask me, “What happens if I give her the cold shoulder and she doesn’t start groveling?” To that, I say, “Dude, your focus is all off.” The goal is not to get her to grovel, but to respect yourself enough not to give in to her trying to get something out of you. And yes, I have used this method in the years since high school, and it still works.
What do you think, guys? Have you ever seen this work in your own life? Do you have a
Ladies, what’s it really like to be on the receiving end of a cold shoulder?