my 24 hour bucket list

possibly the worst pic i've ever used...

we’re being raptured tomorrow.  haven’t you heard?  oh yes.  Jesus is coming for us and we are going to be taken to heaven with resounding horns, white fluffy clouds and Rob Bell.


here’s my top 5 things to do with 24 hours of imperfect humanity left:

5.  sushi – as much as i can cram into my face.

4.  kids – let them eat enough sugar to give them instant diabetes.  hug the crap out of the little monsters.

3.  AT&T – not pay my bill.  you know.  out of spite.

2.  party – grab everyone i know and totally rage.  we did this back in 94 when the west coast was going to fall into the ocean from the giant earthquake God was sending to teach us a lesson.  i left footprints on the ceiling of my apartment from crowd surfing.

1.  craig – yes.  do craig.  what?  i’m married.  it’s awesome.

okay.  your turn.  top 5 things to do before you’re raptured.  go.

ftr, i kinda hope they’re right this time.  i had to file an extension on my tax return.

17 comments on “my 24 hour bucket list

  1. Jamie says:

    5. Spa day at a place that isn’t a school for spa people.
    4. Credit card bingeing on Louboutins and diamonds and real flowers not from the bakery section of a store.
    3. Party with fatty carbs and fireworks and bouncies.
    2. Driving very fast.
    1. Random flirting, handholding, ET CETERA with adorable single guys at my gym.

  2. JBen says:

    Not to be a disgusting nitpicker here, but if number 1 was “craig” (and we all know what that meant) and number 3 was “AT&T” . . . do you get what I’m saying here? You might be pretty busy. That’s all.

    PS, I laughed a lot at #1.

  3. G Fresh says:

    Having stupidly paid my bills because I forgot all about judgment day AND not having any credit cards (thanks Dave Ramsey), I’m pretty much flat broke at the moment so my options are kind of limited, but let’s pretend that I didn’t and still had a little money and I’ll see what I can come up with…

    In no particular order;

    5. Well, as I doubt I’ll be able to find someone to marry me in the next few hours so I can experience a little sumpin’ sumpin’ before getting raptured I’ll have to forgo that, but maybe I can find someone who wants to make out for a little while.

    4. Try to get some musician friends together for an End of the World jam session around a firepit.

    3. Call my family and friends scattered all over the midwest and tell them to look me up when we get to heaven.

    2. Eats lots and lots of ice cream.

    1. Find some Mayans and make fun of them.

  4. Jason says:

    My list…

    5) Pray to Jesus… not the Jesus of the Bible mind you, but the one that Harold Camping serves… just to cover my bases… after all, don’t wanna miss the ship and wind up like the Heaven’s Gates guys… needing to take things in my own hands…

    4) Drive my old crappy car as far as I can until it breaks down… then leave it in the middle of the highway with clothes in the driver’s seat for whoever finds it.

    3) Check into a hotel with a couple friends, place clothing to reflect us all being raptured.

    2) Go rob a bank or 12… so I have money for heaven… just in case.

    1) Get some fake ID’s made up so that I can start my new life after not admitting I wasn’t raptured… seeing as how I just robbed a dozen banks.

  5. Hayley says:

    5. Not show up to work…duh
    4. Do something like jump off the pier naked. I’m not dying to do it but it just seems like the appropriate thing for the occasion.
    3. Kiss my guy friend that I’ve heard is a good kisser. Just kiss, people. Sue me.
    2. Eat a lot and probably spend money on really good nice food. Maybe after kissing my guy friend so I didn’t feel disgusting.
    1. Throw my cell phone in the ocean.

  6. Jonathan B says:

    The hard part of answering this one is the tug-of-war between the humorous answer and the Jesus Juke answers. I can think of a few people I’ve never felt were open to listen who might get a “I know you don’t wanna hear this but if I’m gone tomorrow then you’ll know it’s true” message.

    But on to the humor with which it was intended:

    5) Charter a plane and hop the country visiting online friends I’ve always planned to visit someday. At least the non-Christian ones; I’ll see the others in the air soon anyway. 😉 Fly the plane part of the way, just to say I had. Somewhere along the trip I would sing karaoke too.

    4) Ride a horse. I’ve always wanted to do that, too.

    3) “Let’s get married before the world ends” always works in the movies, G. You just have to find a girl who believes the world will end as much as you do. :> You and me’ll go wife-hunting together.

    2) Have dinner at a fancy restaurant I’d never waste the money on otherwise, with a beautiful girl, in proper tux and ballgown style. But nothing cooked “rare”. Can’t enjoy the pre-Rapture honeymoon with food poisoning.

    1) Book a fancy hotel room in Israel and enjoy the honeymoon till the trumpet sounds.

    Naughty thought: Wait till Jason does all the hard work then steal his money and ids.

  7. […] As i write this, i’ve just been in communication with a friend living in Japan. It’s already May 21st there and he’s a bit bewildered why, as a committed Christian, he’s not currently hangin’ in heaven. Another friend is sarcastically working through a 24 Hour Bucket List. […]

  8. Chris says:

    I’m curious what people’s serious answers would be.

    • Jonathan B says:

      The dangerous part of serious answers is: Since none of us knows when the Rapture will be, tomorrow included, only that it WILL be, we’re left with the question of why we’re not doing the serious things now, if we’re not.

      Like me, I’m wondering how many people I’ve not had the guts to bring up Jesus with are ones God actually has been wanting me to do so with.

      And it really gets uncomfortable if you start wondering what areas of your own life you’d get right if you knew for sure you were going tomorrow. I doubt I’m the only one who can think of things I’m still holding control of that I’d feel urgent not to keep clinging to in that situation.

      • Chris says:

        Well said. But I suspect the real danger is not thinking seriously about it. I don’t think setting dates is the way to think seriously about it, either.

        If I really believe what Jesus said about storing up treasure in heaven instead of on earth, then the last thing I should be doing today is storing up treasure on earth, and seeking fun for myself. And not just today, but any day.

        And considering the damage done after today, if I merely mention Jesus at all, I will be seen as a crazy. I suspect it is better to keep my mouth shut, and preach with my hands.

        And so I’d better close this post and get to work. 🙂

  9. ha!! This list is awesome! I dig the idea of the 24-hr bucket list. Totally. Sprint to get ’em all done before it’s done.

    I spent my “last day” chilling at home. Eating great food. hanging out with my husband. And looking forward to church on Sunday!

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