we’re being raptured tomorrow. haven’t you heard? oh yes. Jesus is coming for us and we are going to be taken to heaven with resounding horns, white fluffy clouds and Rob Bell.
here’s my top 5 things to do with 24 hours of imperfect humanity left:
5. sushi – as much as i can cram into my face.
4. kids – let them eat enough sugar to give them instant diabetes. hug the crap out of the little monsters.
3. AT&T – not pay my bill. you know. out of spite.
2. party – grab everyone i know and totally rage. we did this back in 94 when the west coast was going to fall into the ocean from the giant earthquake God was sending to teach us a lesson. i left footprints on the ceiling of my apartment from crowd surfing.
1. craig – yes. do craig. what? i’m married. it’s awesome.
okay. your turn. top 5 things to do before you’re raptured. go.
ftr, i kinda hope they’re right this time. i had to file an extension on my tax return.