when a woman says she wants a sensitive guy, she means she wants him to be sensitive to how she feels. period.
women (in general) are emotional creatures. do these emotions often cause confusion and panic for men? oh hecks yeah. she might make you think she wants sympathy and compassion and for you to get in touch with your inner Jennifer Aniston, but that’s not even in the hemisphere of what she needs.
she needs an emotional spigot. someone who can turn off her waterworks.
the practical make-up of guys is the antidote to her bat$#!+ crazy. you’re the safety on her hairpin trigger. it’s something an emotionally healthy girl will appreciate.
she really doesn’t want you to be sensitive ponytail guy and write poetry about every emotion you’ve ever had. she needs you to know what she’s feeling and brace yourself so she has someplace solid to land. the more emotionally consistent you are, the more she will learn to trust and breathe. she might even learn a thing or two about keeping her own emotions in check.
craig’s so stable, i don’t even have emotions anymore.
okay, that might be overstating it…i have a couple.
think of it as the emotional equivalent of “don’t feed the bears”. the more you feed into her histrionics, the more she’ll wallow in them.
just to be clear, we’re talking about exaggerated emotional responses to situations that just aren’t that big of a deal. not legit strong emotions like grief. we’re talking rage over a stolen stapler or a meltdown because her stylist used the wrong shade of honey-blond.
here’s the short list of how to handle her…
1. don’t be patronizing – that’s like waving a red flag at a hormonal bull.
2. stay calm – no sudden movements. don’t speak until she gives you an opening. lead with something like, “is it safe for me talk now?” that will convey both interest and the fact that you’re mildly frightened by her behavior. both will probably calm her down.
3. stay calm – speak in a practical tone. no cowering. neutral face expressions are a must.
4. stay calm – oh man, i almost used a Twilight reference right here. whew. disaster averted. lead by example. wait her out and let her run down on her own. when she sees you’re listening but not reacting, she’ll follow suit. probably.
the truth is, women need men as their emotional barometer sometimes. someone to remind them what’s reasonable. in return, you will be gifted with the balance you need to not become some emotionally stunted douche bag.
so, guys, have you ever panicked at a feminine emotional outburst? how did you handle it?
ladies, have you ever freaked a guy out by losing it?
does anybody know what Twilight reference popped in my head that i avoided using?