My friend has been talking to this girl. He swears she’s great for him: She’s funny, very charming (I met her recently), and attractive. The only problem is, he’s 23, she’s 36, and a mom of two (one of which is a teenager). He’s asked me for advice on how to handle this, and all I can ever say is “be careful”, although I’m not entirely sure why he should be careful. What would be something to say to him and not sound stupid? What do you think of relationships like this?
Friend of The Graduate
my knee jerk reaction was yowza! why would either of them think this is okay?!? then i thought some more about why it isn’t okay and…i got nuthin’. i think your advice to him is appropriate though. as a woman in my
late 30’s, who can appreciate the attractiveness, fun, overall hotness of a 20-something stud, there are really very few ways i can see that this can turn out. let me put them in list form:
- she gets bored – the shininess could wear off. unless she’s busted emotionally, she probably won’t find him fun for long. they are in two very different places in life.
- he gets bored – the shininess could wear off. unless he’s in need of some mothering, he probably won’t find her fun for long. they are in two very different places in life.
- she freaks out – oh. em. gee. double. you. tee. eff. “what am i doing? i’ve got kids! he’s 23!”
- he freaks out – oh. em. gee. double. you. tee. eff. “what am i doing? she’s got kids! i’m 23!” (get where i’m going?)
- it works – sometimes these things work out. what’s the variable that makes it go? i don’t have a clue. but i’ve seen it happen. it’s not even the strangest relationship i’ve seen work.
moral of the story? i’d leave it be and let it run it’s course. if you see real disaster signs, then it might be time to say something, but until then, let it play itself out (so to speak).
if i inexplicably found myself single right this second, would i go all mrs. robinson on some unsuspecting 20-something? no….probably not…i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t…i, uh……
readers…thoughts? advice? ever been in a relationship with a big age gap?