a. yes. i changed “ask sharideth” to “dear sharideth”. so sue me.
b. this letter is from one of my favorite readers and he can claim it if he wants to, but i’m leaving that up to him.
c. enjoy or die.
Where does one go to meet single women when the usual places one might think of don’t really offer any opportunities?
Here is my situation; I work at an office where my department is completely separate from the rest of the building. There are literally (and no, I’m not using that word incorrectly) no single, compatible women (all married or in serious relationships) in my department and with the separation from the rest of the office there are no real opportunities for fraternization within the wider cubicle farm population except for maybe the Christmas Luncheon or the yearly Awards Banquet. The last woman I tried chatting (and I thought connecting) with at one of those things turned out to be very happily married; just not wearing her wedding ring that day for whatever reason.
Oh, and wandering from desk to desk in other departments on your breaks trying to pick up chicks is generally frowned upon. 😀
My church is the same way. It’s a very (very) small church where most of the congregation is married. All told there are 3 single guys including myself and 1 single girl with no attraction between her and any of us or vice versa.
The gym is pretty much off limits as far as I’m concerned. I’m there to work out and pretty much nothing more and I assume that everyone else there feels the same. To me, weights and cardio are pretty much a solo endeavour which seems to be the general consensus among my fellow gym enthusiasts except for maybe the muscleheads who always need to get spots from their gym buddies.
I’ve even tried online dating off and on for the past 3 or 4 years. Don’t even get me started on that fustercluck of digital desperation.
I guess a more encompassing question would be how much am I supposed to just let happen/wait for the meetcute/serendipity/whatever (if that kind of stuff even really happens outside of rom-coms) and how much am I supposed to try to make happen? I’ve tried both since I hit dating age 17 years or so ago and neither has really worked.
I really appreciate any advice you can give me.
Reader I Really Like So I’m Not Going To Give Him A Stupid Name
first, excellent use of the term fustercluck. totally stealing that. and second, since “beats the hell out of me” isn’t the answer you’re looking for, i’ll try to do better.
i have a few suggestions…
- friend of a friend of a friend of a… – if you get invited out, go. meet women through the people you already like. if your friends are hanging with these girls, it probably means you’re on the right track. it could even happen at a bar. *gasp* be careful if it’s a little sister though. that could get you punched in the neck.
- another church – now my relationship-advice-giving-conjoined-twin, Joy Eggerichs, warns against becoming a church creeper. this is a guy who hops from church to church looking for hotties like some lecherous Easter bunny. don’t do that. find a larger church you like and get involved with activities they have going for people your age. this does not mean you have to leave your other church, you are just expanding your horizons to better accommodate where you are in life.
- activity clubs – here in nashvegas there’s a outdoor club called Team Green. it’s a small fee per year and you get discounts on stuff to do all over town. the events are planned by a team coordinator (who met her fiance’ at one of these events) and it’s a great way to meet people who are into the same things you are. there’s all sorts of these activity clubs. find one that fits your interests.
- *insert suggestions from the comments here*
my only other thought is that waiting for something to happen can work, too. sometimes when you just stop looking and really settle into yourself, a girl worthy of you will appear. it does happen. on occasion. and you, my friend, are a prize. she’s out there.
oh so sincerely,
for the rest of you…
help a brutha out.
where are some places/how are some ways to meet datable people?