a couple of weeks ago, i wrote a guest post for Tyler Tarver about my worst date ever. maybe you read it. maybe you didn’t. you’ll need to refresh yourself/read it today for what is about to happen to make sense.
Ricky Anderson has a blog. he writes about things and stuff. this time he’s rewritten my horrible date story from the perspective of my date. it’s a hoot.
I want to tell you about the best.date.ever.
2 weeks before prom:
I was wandering the mall, applying for dead-end jobs with my buddy Craig. He was telling me about this girl he had crush on named Sharideth. They were friends, but he just didn’t know how to get her attention in a “Hubba, hubba!” sorta way.
As we passed the tux shop, he stopped in his tracks and stared. There stood Sharideth, smacking her gum at the counter and ignoring customers. Craig had it bad. “I’ll never get anywhere with her”, he mumbled, head hanging low.
“Yeah? I’ve got an idea. Watch this!”
I marched into the store and asked her to prom.
“Yeah, whatever”, she said. “Here’s your tux.”
the day before the prom:
I called Sharideth to tell her I lost my license and she’d have to drive for the evening. This was a total lie, of course. I wasn’t even eligible for a license for another year.
the day of prom:
Craig called to say he was invited over to Sharideth’s house to help her get ready for the prom. He was excited until I pointed out he was pathetic. I told him not to worry about it, because I had a plan.
I made Sharideth pay for dinner because I was into the women’s lib movement. She wasn’t impressed, but boy was my filet mignon good.
I had bragged to all the guys about my big plans for Sharideth that night, but it was all a facade. I was trying to show her what a jerk looked like so she would start appreciating the nice guys, like Craig. This wasn’t something I could just tell her; I had to show her first hand. And sometimes with both hands.
after the prom:
It was so nice of Rick to invite us to the ice cream parlor. That’s a standup guy, Rick. He’s apparently a handyman of sorts, too. He was fixing up Sharideth’s car while I was making sure everyone’s ice cream didn’t melt.
There was a bit of an incident with Sharideth’s ex, but when I finally hid under a table and gave him the rest of Rick’s change, he finally left in a huff. It was nothing I couldn’t handle.
Sharideth finally got her dirty self out from under the car and yelled at me that it was time to go. She’s classy like that.
She didn’t want any face time when she dropped me off, but I was cool with that since I had to race to her house before she got there herself. I was going to leave little notes from Craig around her house, but when she got there she freaked out a bit.
Sharideth’s always been a bit high-strung.
the next day:
The tux shop called and said they had an opening. Would I be able to start that day? Sweet!
Sharideth can complain all she wants, but I really did her a favor.
okay, your turn. best date story? worst date story? tell yours.