twitter twaddle: #youneedanewboyfriend

Top 5:

1. #youneedanewboyfriend if he wears Ugg boots. He’s so far in the closest, he can see Narnia.

2. If someone break in yo house and y’all both hiding in the closet #youneedanewboyfriend

3. If he’s out to dinner with his wife #youneedanewboyfriend

4. If he’s me #YouNEEDaNewBoyFriend

5. #youneedanewboyfriend if he forgets he has a girlfriend

Honorable mentions:

If your man looks in the mirror more often than you, #youneedanewboyfriend

If he cried at the end of Titanic #YouNeedANewBoyfriend

#YouNeedANewBoyfriend if he buys yew something from the dollar menu 4 ur bday

If he’s sick, busy, working, dying, evaporating or gives any excuse that means he wont be with you on valentines day #YouNeedANewBoyfriend

#youneedanewboyfriend if hes a white guy with braids!!

#youneedanewboyfriend when the current one lies so much he can’t even remember any facts about himself

#youneedanewboyfriend if his first name isn’t Justin and his last name isn’t Bieber

#youneedanewboyfriend when you wear the boxers in the relationship

your turn.

you need a new boyfriend….


8 comments on “twitter twaddle: #youneedanewboyfriend

  1. Matt Gates says:

    …if he’s Team Edward and you’re Team Jacob.

    …if he’s nicknamed “Dutch” and it’s not because of his Netherlandic heritage.

    …if whenever you get into an argument he tries to get his point across using Angry Birds metaphors.

    …if he rocks Jeggings better than you do.

    …if he uses the words “loose” and “lose” interchangeably.

    …if he ends every sentence with “That’s what she said!” and it really isn’t at all what she said or even implied at.

    • Mandie says:

      …if his way of telling you you’re pretty is by saying “well, I wouldn’t date an ugly chick”.

      …if the stench of his car won’t wash out of your hair.

      …if his mother still packs his lunch.

      …if he uses acronyms in daily speech. Like, OMG!

      …if he sings you Disney songs in the middle of a coffee shop. Not to embarrass you purposely and get a laugh, but to seriously display for you his musical talents and abilities. I’m not saying I know what this is like…uh…I just think this would be a situation to warrant a new boyfriend.

      …if he took you bowling on your first date.

  2. Tyler says:

    the 18th, it’s on like milk pong. savvy?

  3. Jenn says:

    Would have to agree with all of the above and add:

    If he complains about how expensive the flowers he sent you cost.

    This was especially annoying as it was after he had been given clear instructions on the whole which flowers and from where business, and then he sent flowers that I well quite frankly hate…

  4. Jenn says:

    Gah bad grammar on the previous comment – I blame it on post marathon brain, but I think you know what I meant

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