how to approach a girl


i stole this from Jesus Needs New PR.  which means several of you have already seen it.  but i think it’s totally worth posting here.  i want your thoughts, critiques, additional suggestions, whatev.  i’ll add mine along the way.  enjoy.

i’m writing in bold and red to make sure this update gets seen….

we’ve been had, y’all.  this guy is a professional funny man.  many thanks to my uber smart husband who suspected this guy was really a comedian in sheep’s clothing.  and by sheep, i mean christian.  get it?  see what i did there?  here’s another website he does:

Future Unicorn

he’s just gone from virgin to genius.

retracting the retraction.  he not only took down the video, he shut down the whole site.  which leads us to believe, he was serious.  oh my.  i feel a little bad.  but only a little.


20 comments on “how to approach a girl

  1. Jenn says:

    First of all I’m a lady – not a girl. There is a difference because it frames how you approach the female in question.

    To break down the video:

    1. The boots thing – Don’t tease until you know the person – you can be “chill” without the teasing. I have huge love for my shoes, if you go teasing me about them it can sound like critiquing if I’m having an I don’t feel like joking day. Now I will say that this can work IF it is the right setting, for example – a 50’s themed birthday – that is where you can make a comment about attire. Or if she opens herself up to it by joking about something…

    2. Opinions in general should be kept to oneself – in the begining, specifically in this case the tattoo opinion – I have one, I like them and yet I think it is something that shouldn’t be discussed unless you know a person.

    3. Don’t tell me what is on your mind – I’m not adorable, I mean I know I am, but please don’t tell me I am. See here’s the deal men, this is going to put you in a sticky situation – whether I am or not I don’t want to hear I’m hot, cute, adorable or even unattractive – I’m not a piece of meat, and once you use one of those descriptors I will think that is what you’ve boiled me down to. I know we’re crazy, but if you don’t want to be single for the rest of your life you need to roll with some of the crazy.

    My suggestions are (context a social gathering):

    1. Smile – if she smiles back, approach casual ie. no running, stick out your hand (hopefully not clammy) and say Hi, my name is ___, hopefully she’ll shake your hand back, and introduce herself, if she doesn’t well that’s another issue. (This can work in the grocery store or anywhere – a real smile, not one of those pursed lip semi smiles where you know she’s praying you stop in your tracks and turn around, is an invitation, to say hi, how’s your day been, have you seen the weather etc.)

    Follow with: How do you know the host? What do you do for work/go to school? This isn’t 20 questions and there isn’t a time limit, just let things happen, if you hit it off and she likes you the conversation will flow, if it doesn’t just move on. Whether or not she is interested in you does not define you as a person. So just relax.

  2. marsh says:

    i’m pretty sure he has never dated. wow!! this is horrible

  3. marsh says:

    I don’t think he has ever spoken from his “core intent” whatever that really means…sounds filthy

    He needs to STOP using the word FUN! Cuz he is NOT

  4. Tamara says:

    You already know what I have to say about this. 😉

  5. Marie says:

    A friend of mine once received a line remarkably close to the “situation opener” about her shoes, except the guy forgot to include that he was NOT actually insulting her shoes (he also did not notice the shiny diamond on her left ring finger, apparently). Standing next to her when it happened, I mistakenly assumed he was in fact randomly insulting the shoes of someone he didn’t know, and loyal friend that I am, piped up,

    “What, are you an expert on women’s shoes or something?”

    …at which point he looked at the floor, mumbled an awkward defense, and retreated posthaste. My friend then asked me why I was so mean and explained that this was in fact the poor guy’s attempt to start a conversation with her. Whoops.

    So yeah, don’t use that tactic guys. So confusing. Jenn’s method is best.

  6. i’m updating the blog. we’ve all been had. amazing.

    • Jenn says:

      I think he was so successful because it is the same crap that gets sold to poor single Christian men as legitimate advice. So good on him for being so adept at subversively mocking it – now the question is was he too subversive?

      • good question. the reason i would lean towards “no” is because it only took craig a couple of minutes of googling to figure it out. he’s not trying to hide. he uses his real name, so anyone who bothers to google him will find him right away.

  7. Mandie says:

    haha, this is fantastic. He smiled way too much for it to be real. Creepy. Sadly, I think some guys actually take this advice. I had one guy look at a cup I was holding and say “Starbucks eh? My sister likes it but personally I think it’s slow and overpriced.” Thanks? What am I supposed to say to that?

    I also just reinforced Canadian stereotypes with this comment.

  8. Jenn says:

    Maybe we need to create our own how to video

  9. oh man, y’all. he took down the video. maybe it wasn’t a joke…

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