twitter twaddle: #amanshouldnot

yeah, i know i posted one of these on monday.  but i have three reasons for posting another today.

1.  this one and the last one were trending on the same day so posting them close together seemed appropriate.*

2.  i’m flying out early this afternoon to head back to nashville after visiting family for 3 weeks and didn’t have time to get another blog together for today.**

3.  i’m lazy.***

#amanshouldnot feel the need to explain the importance of watching explosions and extraterrestrials to his girlfriend – no, he should not.

#amanshouldnot show violence toward another creature unless the creature has stolen his pulled-pork sandwich. Then it’s time to duel. – i can see that.

#amanshouldnot wear a bra while riding a pony . . . – at least not again.  you know who you are…

#amanshouldnot care too much about trending Twitter topics. There are more important things happening. – “hello kettle?  you’re black.”

#amanshouldnot HAVE A WEAVE – if i knew you, i’d make up a custom high five just for you, special.  and it wouldn’t be awkward or anything.

#amanshouldnot piss on himself no matter what the circumstances are – wiser words, my friend, wiser words…

#amanshouldnot Dress himself as a Bat! – written by Joker_787

#amanshouldnot use the shake weight – oh the jokes.  so many many jokes.  that have already been told…

#AManShouldNot pee sitting down – “man up and stand up” is my motto.  i’ve been saying that for about 12 seconds (if i allow for typo correction).

#amanshouldnot clip his toe nails and leave the clippings on the living room floor – craig’s older brother left them on craig’s pillow.  something i highly recommend if you have siblings.

#amanshouldnot have a convo on the phone with another dude twisting his fingers in the phone cord – probably the best mental picture i never wanted.

#amanshouldnot think that he is gods gift. That was Jesus bro. Chill. – “side hug”

#amanshouldnot PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY – EVERYDAY. lol. And I’m not even that girl, but enough is enough. Something bout to turn up missing – guys, make a note of it.

#amanshouldnot neglect his feet. Pedicures are acceptable! Talons are not. Lol – this girl, she speaks truth.  *see above for instructions on where to put the clippings*

#amanshouldnot compare his new girl 2 his ex – DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!!

#AManShouldNot save his Bath Water for his Homeboy to use after he gets out! – i want to meet the guy that does that.  and by want to, i mean don’t want to.

#amanshouldnot pinky swear – unless he’s a Goonie.

#amanshouldnot hate on @justinbieberwritten by BieberDeuces.  deuces?  really?

#amanshouldnot announce to the world that they’re taking a s#!+. – you know you do this.

#AManShouldNot holla at me, then my friend, then my other friend, then my friend’s friend. – playa need ta step off.

now, if you want to read something more, check out my “stuff other people write” directly to your left.  there’s one i haven’t added yet by Tyler Tarver that you might enjoy, as well.  why haven’t i added it?  note number 3 above.

*so what.  aka, total cop-out.

**closer to truth than that last one.

***and there it is.


2 comments on “twitter twaddle: #amanshouldnot

  1. Tyler says:

    I forgot to say thank you.

    Thank you.

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