ugly pillows need love too

have you ever.....

craig and i were walking around the streets of our home town, Vancouver, WA.  cleverly identified on t-shirts as Vancouver: not BC, Washington: not DC.  it’s clear to see where my wit and sophistication come from, right?  no?  whatever.

anyhoo, we went into this furniture consignment shop because we like to pretend we might be willing to ship a couch home to nashville.  in the midst of some really awful furniture no one wanted, i found a couple of truly terrible pillows i couldn’t imagine any one wanting.

except me.

they were egg yolk yellow with navy trim and giant, obnoxious orange and red flowers.  i know.  horrible.

i called craig over and said, “i know it’s nuts, but i kind of love these.”  he looked at them for a second and said, “i can see how those would work in our context.”

have i mentioned my husband is highly evolved?  well, he is.

we left the store and those words, “i can see how those would work in our context”, played through my brain.  there’s plenty of room for them to do that in there.  i was particularly stuck on the “would work in our context” part.  i came to the conclusion that my husband is an unintentional genius.

okay, to be fair, sometimes it’s intentional.  he’s kind of smart.

even though he was only talking about our living room decor, i realized we have “context”.  every relationship does.  i spend my time on this blog grossly generalizing what to do and what not to do.  it’s like Proverbs of dating up in here.  the stuff i say is generally true, most of the time.  at least i hope so.  otherwise i’m not very good at this.  but no matter how true or applicable those things are, every relationship is going to have its own context into which some things fit and some things don’t.  and those things are going to be unique to each person or coupling, so to speak.

have you ever seen a dynamic in a couple that makes you ask, “why do they do that?”  total head scratcher, but yet they seem to be perfectly happy with their odd ways.

that’s context.  it works for them.  it fits nicely on their couch of love.

craig and i think it’s hilarious when we see the other person get hit on by some unassuming person who apparently hasn’t learned to check for a ring.  we find it funny and kind of hot.  i mean, it gives us a bit of a charge to know that some stranger still finds our chosen one attractive.

are you uncomfortable yet?  does that scenario make you feel slightly awkward and think we’re weird?  i know it does for some people who know us.  one of craig’s best friends thinks we’re nuts.  if someone tries to hit on his wife, he’s probably going to end up in a fight.

but it’s part of our context.  it works for us.  our private little joke that gives us something to giggle at.  it’s also part of the interior design of our whole relationship.  we trust each other so there’s no threat when someone else tries to intervene, no matter how unknowingly.  it’s our ugly yellow pillows.

every relationship you have is going to have context.  maybe yours will be what appears to be a gaudy green lamp to somebody else, but it’s yours and you love it.  allow for those things.  they’re fun.  and as long as they aren’t harmful or toxic to your design, like lead-based paint, go with it.  let people think you’re strange.

what’s in your context?


3 comments on “ugly pillows need love too

  1. Erin Collins says:

    you guys have got to see our furniture…we share some of the same context.

  2. Hiya Sharideth. I’m new to the blog so I’m going through your archives. I love it when women hit on my husband. Partly because he is quite shy and always looks to me to help and bail him out, and also because he does not think of himself as conventionally attractive so it gives him a buzz when women he’s never met before like him.

    In the same way I hate it when women friends of his that he has known for far longer than he’s known me will no longer hug him when they see him because he’s with me. So what if he’s married now? Hugs are amazing food for the soul and I’m not about to fly into a jealous rage when friends of 15 years or more give him a hug on meeting. I still hug all my male friends on meeting and my man is cool with that. I don’t understand couples who feel threatened by someone making eye contact with their other half. It’s just dumb!

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