i don’t mean the blog. i mean the girl.
today’s selection from the glossary of girls is “she peaked in high school”.
her glory days are behind her but, doggonit, she’s still trying. bless her heart. she’s probably not going to ever be a whole lot more than what she already is, but frankly, with this girl, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
here’s how to pick her out of the crowd:
1. she’ll be leading the crowd in a cheer. that’s the most obvious one. she’ll be rallying people to a cause, throwing parties with name tags and matching napkins and always seem to be on the verge of sprouting pom poms from her sleeves like a magician.
2. her perky knob goes to 11. she’s happy before coffee in the morning. it’s kind of sick. when a heinous act of god destroys her city, she’s upbeat and has mad skills when it comes to making flood relief posters.
3. she’s probably not the smartest girl you’ve ever met. that’s not to say she’s the dumbest either. she’s probably got a few IQ points on phoebe from friends and looks like stephen hawking next to (insert favorite jersey shore cast member here).
4. she’s loyal. relationship matters to her and she’s probably got an encyclopedic memory of small details about each of her friends. you’d have to really be a schmuck to get her to dump you from her life.
5. she’s a bit too concerned with appearance. if anything can ruin her day, it’s not being able to fit into the same size jeans she wore in high school. this is disastrous. she’ll be in full makeup, hair done and clothes stylish to take out the trash.
6. she chairs as many committees as will have her. chairing committees is like leading pep rallies. all. the. time. she’s a natural motivator and getting to motivate others is like her Red Bull.
7. she wants a title like mrs. dr. awesome or mrs. professional athlete. but don’t mistake that with being a gold digger. she’s not. she wants someone to continue cheering for. it’s like the ultimate crown in her custom glass case.
there is a dark side to the girl who peaked in high school. if she resents the loss of what she considers her prime, she becomes kate goslin. *shudder* she also might end up as a professional cheerleader. she just can’t let it go.
now hold on! before i start getting hate mail from professional cheerleaders, let me qualify that statement by saying that many of them are well rounded individuals. no pun intended.
on the flip side, hate mail from kate goslin would be totally awesome.
she may not be the brightest bulb on the christmas tree, but the girl who peaked in high school is more like those long-life, eco-friendly, curly ones. she shines bright enough, is dependable, doesn’t suck all your energy and is in it for life.