the following is my definition of a princess from the glossary of girls:
“she is the Sears Tower of high maintenance. it’s her way, all day, everyday. according to Dr. Phil, and i quote, “She’s not a wife, she’s a job.” you’ll spend your whole life catering to her. she is the epicenter of self-absorption. if she gets annoyed, and she will, a lot, you’d better be ready with the jewelry. she would never pick up a newspaper but has an encyclopedic knowledge of teeth whiteners.
positives? i can’t think of one. unless you’re into vapid and spending all your money.”
quoting myself is amazing. i’m so good at this blogging thing.
so the princess…have you ever seen VH1’s You’re Cut Off? she’s like that, but sometimes comes with a variable interest rate. entitlement knows no credit limit. this girl has been raised her whole life being told yes. she measures your value by how much you can give her and believes there is no one better than she is.
the reality is, this is girl is busted in ways you can’t even begin to fathom. the spending, the demands, the tantrums; it all comes from someplace. or places. it’s been bred in her, fostered, fed, hammered. we’ve all seen the spoiled kid in the grocery store who’s mom opts for giving her what she’s screaming for instead of a thump on the nether regions. this is the grown up version of that. it starts from the cradle.
my mother-in-law worked at daycare for years and told me some pretty horrific parenting stories. like, truly horrifying. but of all the awful, the one i remember most is about a woman who would bring her son (there are boy princesses, too) everyday and he would stand and scream in the doorway. until she gave him 20 bucks. then he’d shut up and head into the daycare.
he was 6.
i’m not going to turn this into a parenting rant, god knows i could, but that wouldn’t fix the problem of the super sucker you’re facing today. the princess equates affection with gifts and getting her way because that’s how she was raised. but spoiled and pampered isn’t dependent on wealth. she could’ve grown up with a zip code of 90210 or as part of the cast of Swamp People and still be a tiara wearing diva. she doesn’t understand real affection or personal connection. here’s some possibilities of what you’re probably looking at with this girl:
1. her self-esteem is so low that shopping and raging and telling everyone how awesome she is are what she uses to fill the giant void of substance in her life. it’s almost like she’s having one giant, never ending panic attack. she can’t stop being a hoyden long enough to actually look at herself or she’ll implode. think of it as being the opposite of miss insecurity. miss insecurity wouldn’t hurt a fly because the thought of causing pain to someone else is absolutely devastating. the princess looks for ways for to hurt others because it feeds her like some unholy communion. it comes from being raised to believe that her only value is material. she doesn’t think much of what she is capable of because she’s never been required to be capable of anything.
2. she really is a vapid parasite who believes she is owed any and all homage the entire world can give her. get out now. run. like your wallet and manhood depend on it. because they do. that’s all i have to say about that.
the princess has been patted on her tiaraed head and convinced in one way or another that she will have to/deserves to be taken care of for the rest of her life. whether it’s because she believes that she can’t do anything on her own or has truly bought into the idea that she just simply deserves it, that’s the expectation. i have no advice on how to help her. i really don’t. i’m totally open to suggestions. maybe a life coach like on You’re Cut Off? we’re talking a lifetime of conditioning. how do you fix that?
occasionally you’ll find a princess with a redeeming quality here and there, like lindsay from Arrested Development, but you’ll have to decide if you’re willing to dig to find them. it may not be worth it. even if she does look portia de rossi.